久违的心情倾诉。。

好久没有写日志了。。每次开这个网页，一定是有声么开心或不开心的。。这次是因为一件不开心的事而开这个网页的。。到底是什么呢？

好久没有被人这样教训了。该怎么写呢？我要拥有一个不是很贵的东西来解闷。我告诉了XX。。我并没有要求他有什么实际的行动。只是循例告诉他而已。但是却被他教训了一顿。我不奢求他像其他的XX，知道了儿子需要什么，就会尽力去满足他的要求。因为一路以来，我都是自己去想办法满足自己的需求，所以我已经习惯了。

从小到大，我就算考到好成绩，他也是认为那是也是理所当然的。我知道读好书使我身为一个学生的责任。但是我始终是一个平凡的小孩。我也需要鼓励的。。他的不闻不问，真是令人伤心失望！如果当初你能够给那么多一点点儿的鼓励和教导，相信现在的我必定能够更成功。

总而言之，一个父亲的责任实在是很重大。如果没有心理准备，真是不能当父亲。因为这会影响一个小孩子的一生。毕竟小孩是无知的。他们需要父母的指导的。

CNY

Hello people. This entry is written on the first day of CNY. Nothing heavy. Just an entry without much reflection. =P

Well, another new year has come. And this is my first time celebrating CNY as a working adult. Nothing much different. I am still receiving ang pao. =)

Anyway, I hope this year would be a prosperous and of great health year for my family and me.

Life-death

Warning: This entry might be (or, is) very pessimistic. Leave it if it does not benefit you.

Thinking about life, what is the ultimate goal of our lives? Ultimately, we all will die, and leave all the things that we are having NOW behind. I still remember what my late 2nd uncle told me last time. He was a pagan. He told me that when a person dies, that is it. It's just like a chicken being slaughtered (this was so funny for me last time). That the person will just sleep forever.

If it was really so, so what if I had or had not experienced anything? So what if I had or had not owned anything? So what if I led a wealthy life or a poor life? Ultimately, we will all return to God (according to my belief).

Anyway, life is short. We are given this period of time to experience His creation. So, just leave worries and troubles behind and live our life to the fullest. Enjoy the everyday that given to us.

Reflection of the day

1. My grandmother came out with a foochow dialect poem. The poem highlights the virtue of thriftiness, which I need to really understand and appreciate.
2. As a lady herself, she should not have behold and support gender discrimination. Daughters are always seen as the weaker ones. This is seriously not applicable anymore in the society nowadays.
3. Do we need lots of money to lead a happy life? Definitely, the answer is no. Perhaps, this way of perception is often regarded as a way of escapism for the middle income family. However, this can be a reasonable fact! Money can also bring lots of trouble.

Till then, let's meet in the next entry.

Experience

Experience is really the greatest teacher. From experience we start to realize, to learn and to appreciate.
To illustrate, after experiencing many different lifestyles, from the mundane one to the rock-and-roll one, a middle path between the two is figured out. There is always a shared zone between the two, which, I regard as the best path. The combination of the essence of the two makes another more unique and more complete choice. Well, life does not have to be too rigid. We can always come out with the mode of life that suits us the best.
Enjoy our lives to the best.

on the verge......

Hi there. Have you all ever encountered this situation before?
When we are on the verge of completing something, out of a sudden, there is an unexpected and disturbing element that sabotages the whole thing? This makes us really tired and helpless. Some say this is a challenge that put forward to make us stronger. Optimistically, it is. Otherwise, it's demotivating and frustrating!~

vanity

Things are difficult when it is at the initial stage. We have to adapt, and to think of what is waiting ahead for us to experience and to explore. Then, we have to think of how to excel, how to make us more outstanding than the others. Whether we want to pursue another level of education is another concern.

We work during working days, and we are off during holidays. When we are working, we are waiting for holidays. When we are on holidays, we are hoping that the holidays will not end too soon, which is rather impossible. On and off, and on and off. Time flies. What do we get ultimately? What is the final destination of ours?

Is this what people call 'Life is vain'?

Feelings

Happiness comes and goes anytime;
Sadness comes without notification;
Depression attacks when spiritual insecurity penetrates;
Sadness shortens the duration of happiness;
Depression breaks the optimism;
Though negative feelings make the positive ones more outstanding,
can we just take the latter ones?
The former ones are making people miserable.

This moment...

At this very moment, I just can't wait to get out of here and have a great time out there. I wanna meet my family members at home, my friends during convo and have a long walk at shopping malls.
2 weeks had passed, and I have not yet settled down mentally completely. When will this moment come? Another 2 weeks? 3 weeks? I don't know.

A litttle update from Daro

Oh gosh! This is really tough. I thought I am ready for this. I thought I am sociable enough to make new friends, new companion. I knew that making new friends will help me to adapt to this entirely new, in terms of people, physical environment and food, aspects of live.

But, after all, I am not ready.

My grumble for YOU

Well, it's just a game,
between us.
You do not have to be so committed.
After all, your actions do not show
your commitment.
So, do not insult certain big words
such as LOVE, SACRIFICE, SINCERITY
and so forth, because
those words do not even have
a slightest connection to what you are doing.
You are playing with words.
You are a hypocrite!

Manusia

Manusia,
Kaulah makhluk yang paling pintar,
Kau mampu mencipta pelbagai alat,
Untuk memudahkan kerja harian,
dan juga memusnhkan keunikan alam semulajadi ini.

Manusia,
Kaulah makhluk yang paling kejam,
Kau menyiat kulit haiwan,
Kau membunuh haiwan yang berhak hidup di alam ini,
hanya untuk kepentingan sendiri.

Manusia,
Nilai-nilai murni semakin luntur dalam dirimu,
Sikap mementingkan diri semakin jelas kelihatan pada dirimu,
demi membina bangunan pencakar langit,
demi membentuk imej yang membanggakan,
Kau sanggup memusnahkan fauna,
Kau sanggup memusnahkan pemberianNya yang tidak ternilai.

Manusia,
Kau diamanahkan untuk menjaga alam ini,
Kau hanya berhak menghayatinya
Tetapi tidak berhak untuk memusnahkannya.

(Wong Siew Bin, 2001)

Like moon like stars

Certain wishes are just like the moon and stars.
They are not reached easily.

Is being emotional good?

Personally, I would answer yes to the question (though the better answer would be 'NO').
Well, why do I say so?
Let's take watching a drama series as example.
Would you rather cry or laugh when the scene gives you such feelings, OR sitting there emotionless like a doll when watching a drama series? Of course, the former would give you more joy and impact and thrill of watching a drama series.
Then, being emotional is good when you express your feelings to the people around you (though most people would not like this), which is healthier psychologically. And, when you are sad, you would feel much better if you cried, rather than you keep your sadness inside.
And, how does it feel when you cannot laugh when there is somebody tickling you?
Well, this is just an analogy.
~peace =))~

A story of a grandma

I have a story to tell.
Grandson: Grandma! It's raining! (shouting)
There is no response.
Grandson: Grandma! It's raining! (shouting by raising his voice)
Still, there is no response.
Grandson: Grandma!! It's raining!! (shouting, until the whole neighbourhood can hear, and the grandson suffers from sore throat after that.)
The grandmother walks slowly out of her house, looking at the sky and grumbles, and to the extent of scolding.
Grandma: How come you (as in the grandson) did not even make a noise that it's raining? All of my nearly dried bedsheets went wet!
Sadly, the grandson goes into the house silently.

Distractions

Very often, we lost in our ways.
The focus seems blur, because of distractions.
We do not know which way exactly to take.

Rainbow

When I was a kid, often, I would like to be a grown-up.
When I am a grown-up now, I still want to be a grown-up, because I want freedom.
However, I miss the innocent and carefree lifestyle that I used to have.
I do not like the hectic and busy lifestyle that basically every adult is having.
But, once we are adults, mostly, we would be having this kind of lifestyle.
There are just so many things that adults need to handle.
So, get ready! The rainbow wouldn't be as colourful as the childhood one.
But, we can paint it as colourful as we want!

Black and White

Dilemmas

Loneliness

When you feel depressed,
you wouldn't want to talk,
You feel the pain all alone,
until the pain is gone.
What you see would be colourless and dull.

Having a conscious mind is crucial in learning

Have you ever experienced learning in fatigue? How do you find it when you learn in fatigue? Of course, learning process would be less effective and less interesting.

When you are tired, you would have to struggle to focus on whatever is delivered. You would most probably fall asleep or doze off in the process of learning. When this happens, you would feel disconnected or go astray from the track. And, ultimately, you would lose your enthusiasm and interest in the particular subject.

What to do when you are experiencing this? I personally think that it would be helpful if you go and wash your face in the washroom by using cool water. Then, it's good to have some sweets to wake yourself up. Also, I would sometimes have a little low-volume chat with my friends who are sitting next to me. However, some teachers or the ones that are delivering the lesson would find it offensive of chatting in front of them. Therefore, it is essential to hide your chat from the teachers concerned, as a means of respecting them.

So, what are your way of regaining your consciousness? Let's share.