I have just realised that everything has changed. I thought I can adapt myself to the changes. But, apparently, I could not at all. Inner part of me knows that things must evolve and changes must take place for her own betterment. However, I still appreciate and and make precious the valuable and enjoyable moment that we had together.
Is it really hard to accept changes? I thought I am flexible enough to see all the changes taken places. But, it is not as easy as I thought. The rosy expectations of mine had turned into something else, which I myself am not sure of the positivity of the current situation.
Well, we as human beings are too tiny to reject changes. So, what else can we do except allowing ourselves to be swallowed by the changes. Or, positively put, to adapt to the changes.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Differences
I live two completely different lives here (as in outside my home), and at home. I think these differences do not make me a bad guy. Let's see the arguments.
First of all, the most obvious gap is my dietary habit. Surprisingly, I have a more balanced and stable diet at home. At home, I eat appropriately and accordingly. I will take my breakfast in the morning, even if it is a light one. Then, it follows by a nutritious lunch. After that, I might be having hi-tea, depending on how heavy my lunch is. Last but not least, I take my dinner at 6 p.m.. Please note that I use the phrase "Last but not least." That means I have no supper at home. On the contrary, I seldom have my breakfast here (excluding events such as exams). This is because by the time I wake up, it is already lunch time. Usually, the first meal of the day would be at 1p.m. or so. This is what I call lunch. After that, I have my dinner at 8 or 9 p.m.. Then, I might be having supper at 1 or 2 a.m.. Wow! This is really a sharp contrast from the one at home.
Besides, my resting time here is indeed different too. Typically, I rest at 2 to 3 a.m.. Then, I wake up at 11a.m. or even 12 noon. At home, I go to bed at 10 to 11 p.m., and I wake up at 7 to 8 a.m.. There is hardly night lives at home.
Equally important, my social life here is different from my home too. I get to go out with my friends regularly here, whereas at home, I go out frequently with my family. There would be a rare occasion seeing me going out with my secondary school classmates. Perhaps, we did not keep in touch regularly and there is nothing to be discussed among us.
Shall I say these differences are detrimental to my life? I would say no. When the environment changes, of course, our lifestyle would change too. The matter here is that we must know our boundaries. Yes, you may stay up late at night outside, with the condition that you are not doing something illegal and harmful to yourself. We must always remember that we have our beloved family waiting for us at home. Therefore, we should try to live our life to the fullest and make good attempts to spice up our lives.
First of all, the most obvious gap is my dietary habit. Surprisingly, I have a more balanced and stable diet at home. At home, I eat appropriately and accordingly. I will take my breakfast in the morning, even if it is a light one. Then, it follows by a nutritious lunch. After that, I might be having hi-tea, depending on how heavy my lunch is. Last but not least, I take my dinner at 6 p.m.. Please note that I use the phrase "Last but not least." That means I have no supper at home. On the contrary, I seldom have my breakfast here (excluding events such as exams). This is because by the time I wake up, it is already lunch time. Usually, the first meal of the day would be at 1p.m. or so. This is what I call lunch. After that, I have my dinner at 8 or 9 p.m.. Then, I might be having supper at 1 or 2 a.m.. Wow! This is really a sharp contrast from the one at home.
Besides, my resting time here is indeed different too. Typically, I rest at 2 to 3 a.m.. Then, I wake up at 11a.m. or even 12 noon. At home, I go to bed at 10 to 11 p.m., and I wake up at 7 to 8 a.m.. There is hardly night lives at home.
Equally important, my social life here is different from my home too. I get to go out with my friends regularly here, whereas at home, I go out frequently with my family. There would be a rare occasion seeing me going out with my secondary school classmates. Perhaps, we did not keep in touch regularly and there is nothing to be discussed among us.
Shall I say these differences are detrimental to my life? I would say no. When the environment changes, of course, our lifestyle would change too. The matter here is that we must know our boundaries. Yes, you may stay up late at night outside, with the condition that you are not doing something illegal and harmful to yourself. We must always remember that we have our beloved family waiting for us at home. Therefore, we should try to live our life to the fullest and make good attempts to spice up our lives.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Angelic Devil
My dear friend, he left you for good. You never know what is his real purpose and intention to get close to you. His intention might be a bad one. After he has obtained what he wants, you will be subsided into the trash bin. And, ultimately, who would get the deepest wound in heart? Is it his? Or is it yours? Figure it out yourself.
I don't blame you for that. Well, we are human beings. We have wishes. We all want to realize our dreams. We all use different ways to make sure that our dreams are realized. Just that, sometimes, the others might not agree with the way you are using. But, does that mean you can use the others, without taking into account of the others' feelings, to make sure that you get what you want?
You just appear to be too naive, innocent and angelic. You might have the quality which is parallel to you physiques. On the contrary, you might be an angelic devil too. Who knows? Only you yourself and your god knows.
I don't blame you for that. Well, we are human beings. We have wishes. We all want to realize our dreams. We all use different ways to make sure that our dreams are realized. Just that, sometimes, the others might not agree with the way you are using. But, does that mean you can use the others, without taking into account of the others' feelings, to make sure that you get what you want?
You just appear to be too naive, innocent and angelic. You might have the quality which is parallel to you physiques. On the contrary, you might be an angelic devil too. Who knows? Only you yourself and your god knows.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Proud to be me
Being a member of a middle-income family, I ought to learn things by my own. My parents are busy maintaining the family. They have been trying their best, I know, but due to their educational qualification and luck (though I perceive that as the minor factor), they could give the family the basic needs. Learning how to behave, learning how to live, learning how to take care of the others are not easy. I learn all those through imitation. My parents are my role models.
Actually, learning those by ourselves are better, and in fact, more practical than having somebody telling you that you should behave in such a manner and you should not do this and that. Sometimes, I thought that is the way my parents brought me up intentionally. They want me to learn things through experience. However, though this way of learning is more effective, it needs a doubled effort to do so. We really need to be critical and mature in our way of thinking.
Anyway, I am proud to be me. Thanks to my parents, for shaping me well.
Actually, learning those by ourselves are better, and in fact, more practical than having somebody telling you that you should behave in such a manner and you should not do this and that. Sometimes, I thought that is the way my parents brought me up intentionally. They want me to learn things through experience. However, though this way of learning is more effective, it needs a doubled effort to do so. We really need to be critical and mature in our way of thinking.
Anyway, I am proud to be me. Thanks to my parents, for shaping me well.
Friday, October 23, 2009
人生如戏，戏如人生
很久没有用华文来写文章了。 这次就让我用华文来写吧。
所谓“人生如戏，戏如人生，”观众明知道戏剧里面所发生的都是导演及编剧组所构造的，但是为什么他们还是看到很入迷呢？难道导演及戏剧组真的有什么魔力让观众们定时的锁定在电视机面前吗？其实，我个人认为，电视剧里面的每一项情节和故事都是有可能在我们的日常生活中发生的。有些可能是每天都发生的，只是我们没有察觉及体验到。
这里所说到的重点是，观众们在欣赏机关看电视剧时，都必须报这一刻开放既有思维的心去分析及体验导演及戏剧组所要沟通的信息。这样观众们才不会浪费了他们宝贵的时间去看对他们本身没有意义的节目。一旦他们领悟到电视剧里面的信息，他们就不会浪费时间了。这才能达到看电视剧真正的意义。
所谓“人生如戏，戏如人生，”观众明知道戏剧里面所发生的都是导演及编剧组所构造的，但是为什么他们还是看到很入迷呢？难道导演及戏剧组真的有什么魔力让观众们定时的锁定在电视机面前吗？其实，我个人认为，电视剧里面的每一项情节和故事都是有可能在我们的日常生活中发生的。有些可能是每天都发生的，只是我们没有察觉及体验到。
这里所说到的重点是，观众们在欣赏机关看电视剧时，都必须报这一刻开放既有思维的心去分析及体验导演及戏剧组所要沟通的信息。这样观众们才不会浪费了他们宝贵的时间去看对他们本身没有意义的节目。一旦他们领悟到电视剧里面的信息，他们就不会浪费时间了。这才能达到看电视剧真正的意义。
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Reflection after watching 'Tsunami"
We always do not believe in things that are out of norms. We only believe them when things happened. Wouldn't it be too late already if we believed them when damages occur? Weird things happen. Open up our minds. Everything is possible.
Monday, September 14, 2009
As empty as a shell
I am just like a shell, empty inside.
I fill the emptiness with material satisfaction.
Food, my desired gadgets and luxurious feelings.
Would that be sufficient to fill my emptiness?
I doubt.
I fill the emptiness with material satisfaction.
Food, my desired gadgets and luxurious feelings.
Would that be sufficient to fill my emptiness?
I doubt.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
3 options
I was having a reflective mind just now. And, the following options in live came across my mind.
1. Looking forward and never look backward. When you choose this, you will keep on developing, in both aspects of good and bad. Since you did not stop and look backward, you wouldn't know whether you are developing positively or negatively. This is why history is very important. =)
2. Stop once in a while and look back what has actually happened. Well, this mode would give you a slower development. Since you always being reflective on what you have done, you might need a longer period of time to withdraw yourself from the past and move forward. But, this mode is always a good one for me. Through my own experience, I always spend a long time to reflect on what I have been going through. And, I can't move on as long as I am reflecting. Well, I can actually, but, it would just be my physical entity that is moving on, whereas my mind is still get hooked in the past.
3. Trapped in the past. This option is a bit similar to the second option. When somebody is reflecting too long before moving on, he might have the tendency to be trapped in the past. Those who have chosen this will never move on. They will keep on grumbling and complaining why they have been treated in such a way. These people will never succeed in their lives.
So, which one would you choose?
1. Looking forward and never look backward. When you choose this, you will keep on developing, in both aspects of good and bad. Since you did not stop and look backward, you wouldn't know whether you are developing positively or negatively. This is why history is very important. =)
2. Stop once in a while and look back what has actually happened. Well, this mode would give you a slower development. Since you always being reflective on what you have done, you might need a longer period of time to withdraw yourself from the past and move forward. But, this mode is always a good one for me. Through my own experience, I always spend a long time to reflect on what I have been going through. And, I can't move on as long as I am reflecting. Well, I can actually, but, it would just be my physical entity that is moving on, whereas my mind is still get hooked in the past.
3. Trapped in the past. This option is a bit similar to the second option. When somebody is reflecting too long before moving on, he might have the tendency to be trapped in the past. Those who have chosen this will never move on. They will keep on grumbling and complaining why they have been treated in such a way. These people will never succeed in their lives.
So, which one would you choose?
I can't stand it anymore
I can't stand it anymore.
He laughs in front of his laptop all by himself.
He screams suddenly in front of his laptop.
He smiles blankly looking at the chemistry book.
He giggles and speaks to himself in the bath room.
He has all the characteristics of a unhygienic person.
He has the tidiest arrangements of his belongings.
I can't bear it anymore.
But what can I do?
He is too old to be given advice.
I can't stand it anymore.
He laughs in front of his laptop all by himself.
He screams suddenly in front of his laptop.
He smiles blankly looking at the chemistry book.
He giggles and speaks to himself in the bath room.
He has all the characteristics of a unhygienic person.
He has the tidiest arrangements of his belongings.
I can't bear it anymore.
But what can I do?
He is too old to be given advice.
I can't stand it anymore.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Have you ever?
Have you ever felt like a zombie?
Where you do not know what you want exactly.
Where you will grab anything when you are walking in a hypermarket and pay it at the counter.
Where you eat but do not know what is the taste of the food like.
Where you have no expression when you are watching something funny.
Where you are merely faking yourself in front of your friends.
Where you just nod your head when your friends are talking to you.
Have you?
Where you do not know what you want exactly.
Where you will grab anything when you are walking in a hypermarket and pay it at the counter.
Where you eat but do not know what is the taste of the food like.
Where you have no expression when you are watching something funny.
Where you are merely faking yourself in front of your friends.
Where you just nod your head when your friends are talking to you.
Have you?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The importance of the first step
When I was walking back from the stadium just now, I realized that I was stepping on the tiles that have similar pattern. If I wanted to step on the tiles that are of different patterns, I needed to make my widen my pace or make it narrower. Hence, there are two things that come into my mind.
The first thing is that we must be very careful in making our first step. We must make sure that our initiation is a correct one. Once that is determined, our route would be easy. On the other hand, if we had made a wrong choice at the beginning, it would be difficult for us to get back on track, though it's possible.
The second thing is that we must be alert with our progress. When I was walking just now, I got distracted with the tiles of different patterns. Therefore, I stepped on the different tiles. Analogically, when we are doing something, we will get distracted sometimes. Hence, we must be aware of our own pace and concentrate on what we are doing. As a result, we will get a fruitful ending or outcome.
The first thing is that we must be very careful in making our first step. We must make sure that our initiation is a correct one. Once that is determined, our route would be easy. On the other hand, if we had made a wrong choice at the beginning, it would be difficult for us to get back on track, though it's possible.
The second thing is that we must be alert with our progress. When I was walking just now, I got distracted with the tiles of different patterns. Therefore, I stepped on the different tiles. Analogically, when we are doing something, we will get distracted sometimes. Hence, we must be aware of our own pace and concentrate on what we are doing. As a result, we will get a fruitful ending or outcome.
Expectations
It's been a while since I last updated my blog. It would be good if I could update it everyday. Well, I will try to.
What is my topic for today? Let's talk about expectations. You know what, I have this kind of good and obedient image in my family. I am perceived as good and obedient by my family members, be it close ones or the extended ones. Since I have this kind of image, there are lots of things that I should not be doing. People will start questioning me if I didn't get a good result in a examination. People will start saying "What is wrong with you?" if I got my ear pierced.
Having this kind of 'good-boy' image has its pros and cons. Let's talk about the pros first. First of all, you will get people to love you and care about you. You will be like a treasure at home instead of a burden. People will give you food and money frequently. Then, people will feel proud of you. They will complement you in the public. And, of course, you yourself will feel good about it. And this will boost up your self-confidence, self-efficacy and all the self's.
On the other hand, when you are a good fellow, you should not even think of doing certain things which go against the norms. Of course, we should not be doing such things. But, you know, as a teenager and a young adult, there are many distractions out there. And teenagers and young adults are curious and have been always wanting to try new things. However, you should not be doing things that are perceived bad because you would like to maintain the good image of yours.
So, this is one of the major sacrifices that you have to make.
Alright, that is it for today. Let's continue in the following entry. Thanks for reading.
What is my topic for today? Let's talk about expectations. You know what, I have this kind of good and obedient image in my family. I am perceived as good and obedient by my family members, be it close ones or the extended ones. Since I have this kind of image, there are lots of things that I should not be doing. People will start questioning me if I didn't get a good result in a examination. People will start saying "What is wrong with you?" if I got my ear pierced.
Having this kind of 'good-boy' image has its pros and cons. Let's talk about the pros first. First of all, you will get people to love you and care about you. You will be like a treasure at home instead of a burden. People will give you food and money frequently. Then, people will feel proud of you. They will complement you in the public. And, of course, you yourself will feel good about it. And this will boost up your self-confidence, self-efficacy and all the self's.
On the other hand, when you are a good fellow, you should not even think of doing certain things which go against the norms. Of course, we should not be doing such things. But, you know, as a teenager and a young adult, there are many distractions out there. And teenagers and young adults are curious and have been always wanting to try new things. However, you should not be doing things that are perceived bad because you would like to maintain the good image of yours.
So, this is one of the major sacrifices that you have to make.
Alright, that is it for today. Let's continue in the following entry. Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Distractions
How would you perceive distractions?
Distractions really denote negative associations to me. When I have set my goal, of course, I would like to achieve my goal. However, these distractions, which come in many forms, would try their best to fail my effort to accomplish something. Gosh! How could I eliminate all these distractions?
After analyzing the distractions, I realize that they come in two primary forms. One of those is material distraction. This distraction, I believe, is the one that bothers the majority. Human beings like to enjoy and indulge ourselves in the things that make us feel good. Ultimately, this will make our wallet gets thinner and the amount in our account gets lesser.
Then, food can be our distraction as well. What is the primary function of food? I believe, food gives us energy and necessary vitamin and minerals. However, food, if taken excessively, would make us turn out to be something else. Obesity is one of the consequence.
How can I remove these two distractions so that I can achieve my goal? Only He knows.
Distractions really denote negative associations to me. When I have set my goal, of course, I would like to achieve my goal. However, these distractions, which come in many forms, would try their best to fail my effort to accomplish something. Gosh! How could I eliminate all these distractions?
After analyzing the distractions, I realize that they come in two primary forms. One of those is material distraction. This distraction, I believe, is the one that bothers the majority. Human beings like to enjoy and indulge ourselves in the things that make us feel good. Ultimately, this will make our wallet gets thinner and the amount in our account gets lesser.
Then, food can be our distraction as well. What is the primary function of food? I believe, food gives us energy and necessary vitamin and minerals. However, food, if taken excessively, would make us turn out to be something else. Obesity is one of the consequence.
How can I remove these two distractions so that I can achieve my goal? Only He knows.
Friday, July 31, 2009
My Salad Days
When I was taking my bath just now, I reflected how I am blessed with such a wonderful family. Unlike my elder brother and sister, I did not have to do household chores at all. I did not have to help my parents for the pepper field. Though I was still young at that point of time (when my family was managing pepper and cocoa farm), I would have to work at the farm if my parents insisted to (like any other parents in the same setting).
My parents tell me that the only thing that I should do is to study. I feel so sorry for them that they need to pay extra attention on me due to my weak physic when I was a child. They needed to sent me over to Sibu Hospital every week to get my cough healed. According to the doctor, I might get asthma if the coughing was not cured. Therefore, my father needed to apply leave every Tuesday, if I was not mistaken, just to send me to the hospital.
And, I was scared to go to school. Whenever I was sent to school, I would scream and cry and crawl as a sign of protest. I just did not know why I behaved like that. My family must feel ashamed for that. But, I did not get lesser love and care from them, despite my weird and annoying behaviour.
Later when I was at the secondary school, I was poor in certain subjects such as Mathematics. I felt bad about it. I wrote to my sister who was studying at UPM at that time. I told her that I felt intimidated that I did not get good results for my Mathematics. Upon receiving the letter, she arranged one of her friends who was teaching in Sarikei to give me tuition. She settled the tuition fees for me too. I was touched. I appreciated it and I felt like I owed her. I am really glad that I have such a considerate and lovable sister.
I would like to give credit for each one of my family members. You make my life complete and you are the only thing that is worth embracing, if I were to choose one only. Thank you, my family.
My parents tell me that the only thing that I should do is to study. I feel so sorry for them that they need to pay extra attention on me due to my weak physic when I was a child. They needed to sent me over to Sibu Hospital every week to get my cough healed. According to the doctor, I might get asthma if the coughing was not cured. Therefore, my father needed to apply leave every Tuesday, if I was not mistaken, just to send me to the hospital.
And, I was scared to go to school. Whenever I was sent to school, I would scream and cry and crawl as a sign of protest. I just did not know why I behaved like that. My family must feel ashamed for that. But, I did not get lesser love and care from them, despite my weird and annoying behaviour.
Later when I was at the secondary school, I was poor in certain subjects such as Mathematics. I felt bad about it. I wrote to my sister who was studying at UPM at that time. I told her that I felt intimidated that I did not get good results for my Mathematics. Upon receiving the letter, she arranged one of her friends who was teaching in Sarikei to give me tuition. She settled the tuition fees for me too. I was touched. I appreciated it and I felt like I owed her. I am really glad that I have such a considerate and lovable sister.
I would like to give credit for each one of my family members. You make my life complete and you are the only thing that is worth embracing, if I were to choose one only. Thank you, my family.
Friday, July 17, 2009
A bit of reflection after 8 weeks of teaching practice
We met as strangers.
You know my name but I didn't know yours.
As time went by,
we get to know each other better before we say goodbye.
You may appear mischievous,
but I know you just want to be marvelous.
You nodded when I taught,
I nodded too when you uttered your thought.
You reminded me to my schooling days,
which had passed like rays.
I taught you through my experience,
hope that would make sense.
I wish you all the best,
be the best,
because we are the best.
(I would like to acknowledge the principal of SMTKJ as for the last 3 line.)
You know my name but I didn't know yours.
As time went by,
we get to know each other better before we say goodbye.
You may appear mischievous,
but I know you just want to be marvelous.
You nodded when I taught,
I nodded too when you uttered your thought.
You reminded me to my schooling days,
which had passed like rays.
I taught you through my experience,
hope that would make sense.
I wish you all the best,
be the best,
because we are the best.
(I would like to acknowledge the principal of SMTKJ as for the last 3 line.)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
The turning point
We always want to pursue something that we ourselves perceive as good, nice and presentable. In the midst of pursuing, it is inevitable that we shall feel lethargic, tired and exhausted. This is the point of time when we shall doubt whether we should really stop and give up.
In actual fact, the thing that we are pursuing, of course, is something that worth-pursuing. I believe most human beings are very good in our judgment (of course there are exceptional cases.) Therefore, it is not a wise decision to stop and give up. Instead, we should take a break and rest before we further pursue the target. Resting and taking a break does not mean that we abandon the goal and look for another new goal. It means putting it aside, and refresh our mind, and come back to it when we have a fresh and clear mind. At this time, we shall, hopefully, have a new perspective and view on how to work on the goal.
I have been experiencing lethargy and exhaustion recently. Hopefully, I can get back on track and fulfill what I have been discussing in this entry.
In actual fact, the thing that we are pursuing, of course, is something that worth-pursuing. I believe most human beings are very good in our judgment (of course there are exceptional cases.) Therefore, it is not a wise decision to stop and give up. Instead, we should take a break and rest before we further pursue the target. Resting and taking a break does not mean that we abandon the goal and look for another new goal. It means putting it aside, and refresh our mind, and come back to it when we have a fresh and clear mind. At this time, we shall, hopefully, have a new perspective and view on how to work on the goal.
I have been experiencing lethargy and exhaustion recently. Hopefully, I can get back on track and fulfill what I have been discussing in this entry.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Another perspective of live
Let me begin with this entry by asking you a question. How would you react or deal with the elements or the things that you fear or those which are sensitive to you? I believe most of you, including me, will try inside out to avoid to face them. Am I right? But, are you sure that is the correct way to deal with it? Sometimes, yes. Leave alone the general political sensitive issues such as racial and political perspectives. I am referring to those which you personally feel awkward with. For example, you are quarreling with your spouse. Would you avoid him or her or would you rather talk face to face to sort it out? When you feel bad about your friends, would you talk to his face? When you farted in the train, would you admit it? When you accidentally know that your friends have a misunderstanding about you, would you approach your friend to clarify?
If you avoided those issues and preferred not to discuss such so-called sensitive issue, indeed, this will lead to a miserable and unbearable life. Therefore, my personal principal is that "When you like that something, keep liking it; when you fear that something, overcome it." As long as you encounter things that impede you to have a happy life, sort it out. Don't drag it until it becomes an obstacle for you to obtain a happy life.
Of course, having the ability to do this is not as easy. We need to be wise and resourceful. We might need our close friends' opinions or even the professional views from the experts. Since that is our personal problems, we are responsible to solve it. For sure, our close friends would be happy to lend a helping hand. In addition, while helping us, our friends would gain experience in handling such problems for the future use.
Let me stop making this entry lengthy. So, the extract of this entry would be :If you liked that something, keep liking it; if you feared that something, overcome it. Ultimately, you are immune to anything!
If you avoided those issues and preferred not to discuss such so-called sensitive issue, indeed, this will lead to a miserable and unbearable life. Therefore, my personal principal is that "When you like that something, keep liking it; when you fear that something, overcome it." As long as you encounter things that impede you to have a happy life, sort it out. Don't drag it until it becomes an obstacle for you to obtain a happy life.
Of course, having the ability to do this is not as easy. We need to be wise and resourceful. We might need our close friends' opinions or even the professional views from the experts. Since that is our personal problems, we are responsible to solve it. For sure, our close friends would be happy to lend a helping hand. In addition, while helping us, our friends would gain experience in handling such problems for the future use.
Let me stop making this entry lengthy. So, the extract of this entry would be :If you liked that something, keep liking it; if you feared that something, overcome it. Ultimately, you are immune to anything!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I want it back
I have been very reflective recently. The memory brings me to the seventh heaven. I am thrilled with those pleasant and joyful moments. However, these precious and priceless memories make my heart bleeds as well. I wonder why I cannot have those moments again. Is it because of the green-eyed monsters that are trying hard to keep us apart? Or is it that you do not want to invest anything in the relationship? I wonder.
If it was really the tricks of the green-eyed monsters, then, why can't you do something to free yourself from the trap? Or is it you enjoy been trapped? Don't you, as well, appreciate those moments? Don't you wanna have them back as well?
Dear God, if you knew how I wanted it back, and I believe that You do, give me back my valuable stuff (though it's too much a word to name after the thing that I have lost).
If it was really the tricks of the green-eyed monsters, then, why can't you do something to free yourself from the trap? Or is it you enjoy been trapped? Don't you, as well, appreciate those moments? Don't you wanna have them back as well?
Dear God, if you knew how I wanted it back, and I believe that You do, give me back my valuable stuff (though it's too much a word to name after the thing that I have lost).
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Dark Corner
Suddenly, I feel like nobody understands me.
I am sitting at a dark corner.
Nobody can reach me.
Not even my parents, my family.
What to say my friends?
This is the saddest thing in the world...
Damn...
When will this over?
When can I get somebody to know what is in my mind?
Who can read my mind?
I doubt there is that somebody.
I am sitting at a dark corner.
Nobody can reach me.
Not even my parents, my family.
What to say my friends?
This is the saddest thing in the world...
Damn...
When will this over?
When can I get somebody to know what is in my mind?
Who can read my mind?
I doubt there is that somebody.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Happiness
Happiness is the cure for everything.
Happiness cures sadness.
Happiness cures stress.
Happiness cures anger.
Happiness enlightens every aspect of your life.
Happiness cures sadness.
Happiness cures stress.
Happiness cures anger.
Happiness enlightens every aspect of your life.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Quotes from Forensic Heroes II
1. "Give more, expect less."
2. "Don't cry over what you have lost, but smile over what you had had."
2. "Don't cry over what you have lost, but smile over what you had had."
Saturday, March 7, 2009
once...
I once adored you so much
Until I cried when you cried
Until I smiled when you smiled
I liked you personalities,
both good and bad.
I embrace your kindness and generosity
I accept your flaws.
Though you adore that somebody,
Until you lose your sense of self.
I now despise you so much
Until I laugh when you cry
Until I cry when you smile
I hate your personalities,
both good and bad.
I hate your kindness and generosity
I love your flaws.
What have happened,
Until this change takes place?
Until I cried when you cried
Until I smiled when you smiled
I liked you personalities,
both good and bad.
I embrace your kindness and generosity
I accept your flaws.
Though you adore that somebody,
Until you lose your sense of self.
I now despise you so much
Until I laugh when you cry
Until I cry when you smile
I hate your personalities,
both good and bad.
I hate your kindness and generosity
I love your flaws.
What have happened,
Until this change takes place?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A=A, A≠B
Make sure that you reflect on your own attitude before accusing the others of neglecting you.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The 'R' Concept
Consider the following issues.
1. In a day, how long will you be happy and vice versa?
2. What would be the 'x' factor for you?
3. What would be the 'y' factor for you?
4. Can you decide the duration that you want to stay at 'happy' stage and vice versa?
This would be my answer.
1. Of course, I want to be happy all the times; but, it would not be possible if we hold pessimistic perspective of viewing things. However, there are those gloomy moments and discouraged times. So, it is part and parcel of life. Don't take it too hard.
2. Well, those elements that can make me turn gloomy are financial aspects, relations with people and of course, assignments.
3. The 'y' factors would be my family, my friends and actually, all the 'x' factors are my 'y' factors if they were all positive.
4. As for me, I will make attempts to keep myself as happy as I could. Nobody wants to be sad. So do I.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Anticipation
Typically, after we have planned to do something, we shall feel excited and anticipated. Our mindset and direction are very much diverted to that plan. This is one of the joy in the process of getting that thing done.
When we are carrying out the event, we ought to be positive and get involved totally so that we can enjoy to the fullest. On the other hand, we should not grumble and complain on the negative sides of the event. We should be aware of the fact that there are always two sides of a coin.
After the event has been carried out, we should do reflection on the event. Whether we gain more profit or the event has brought more negative effects are the issue that need to be considered. This serves as the yardstick whether the event should be continued or to be terminated. And, of course, the anticipation that we had before this would reduce drastically as the event had passed.
When we are carrying out the event, we ought to be positive and get involved totally so that we can enjoy to the fullest. On the other hand, we should not grumble and complain on the negative sides of the event. We should be aware of the fact that there are always two sides of a coin.
After the event has been carried out, we should do reflection on the event. Whether we gain more profit or the event has brought more negative effects are the issue that need to be considered. This serves as the yardstick whether the event should be continued or to be terminated. And, of course, the anticipation that we had before this would reduce drastically as the event had passed.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
the **** poem
For value I am of use;
Unaccommodating, unappreciative and all the un's
Can kill me after I am being used
Knights cannot accommodate that they are being used,
Yet they did not say anything
Or even a grumble;
Unlike me, I complain via blog.
Unaccommodating, unappreciative and all the un's
Can kill me after I am being used
Knights cannot accommodate that they are being used,
Yet they did not say anything
Or even a grumble;
Unlike me, I complain via blog.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Necessities versus Luxuries
More often than not, we will confuse between what we need and what we want. Certain aspects are just too difficult to be categorized as a necessity or a luxury.
Basically, we need certain things to make sure that we survive and we want something to make our life easier and more comfortable. Different people need different things. A need might be a luxury for certain people.
As for me, when that something is affecting my life, be it physically or emotionally, it is a necessity. If that something crippled me from having a happy period, I would say that is a necessity that I must own. If that something disturbed me emotionally, which made me keep thinking of having it, I would say that is a necessity as well.
Indeed, this perspective of whether a particular thing is a necessity or a luxury really differs from individuals. So, the above opinion is just for reference and sharing. :-)
Basically, we need certain things to make sure that we survive and we want something to make our life easier and more comfortable. Different people need different things. A need might be a luxury for certain people.
As for me, when that something is affecting my life, be it physically or emotionally, it is a necessity. If that something crippled me from having a happy period, I would say that is a necessity that I must own. If that something disturbed me emotionally, which made me keep thinking of having it, I would say that is a necessity as well.
Indeed, this perspective of whether a particular thing is a necessity or a luxury really differs from individuals. So, the above opinion is just for reference and sharing. :-)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
10-year time
Recently, I watched Westlife 10th year anniversary concert held at Croke Park. Yeah, 10 years had passed. Westlife published their very first album when I was in Form 1 or so. They had gone through 10 years successfully, of course, with ups and downs. So do I.
What can a 10-year time bring? How many changes that took place in me? Those memories should be kept or deleted? I wonder.
I reflect back. I really appreciate those who have been sincere to me as my friends and those who have been hypocrite will never get the true and genuine friendship / relationship.
Other than friendship, I reflect on my personal attitude. I was a rebellious and playful kid when I was in primary and lower secondary years. Who am I now? Have I changed in terms of attitude and my perspective in life? I am sure that I do. But, to what extent have I changed?
In terms of study, I was lazy in my primary and my lower secondary years. After lectured by my family members, especially my sister and mom, I became a bit diligent and achieved a considerably flying-color result. Thanks for the advice. Now, have I kept the diligence or have I turned back to basis?
One of the positive changes that take place in me is that I value my family more than I did before. I appreciate and enjoy all the times with my family members. I start to be aware of the true meaning of being a family.
Hopefully, positive changes keep taking place in me and I could be a nearly perfect person.
What can a 10-year time bring? How many changes that took place in me? Those memories should be kept or deleted? I wonder.
I reflect back. I really appreciate those who have been sincere to me as my friends and those who have been hypocrite will never get the true and genuine friendship / relationship.
Other than friendship, I reflect on my personal attitude. I was a rebellious and playful kid when I was in primary and lower secondary years. Who am I now? Have I changed in terms of attitude and my perspective in life? I am sure that I do. But, to what extent have I changed?
In terms of study, I was lazy in my primary and my lower secondary years. After lectured by my family members, especially my sister and mom, I became a bit diligent and achieved a considerably flying-color result. Thanks for the advice. Now, have I kept the diligence or have I turned back to basis?
One of the positive changes that take place in me is that I value my family more than I did before. I appreciate and enjoy all the times with my family members. I start to be aware of the true meaning of being a family.
Hopefully, positive changes keep taking place in me and I could be a nearly perfect person.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Eighth Day of CNY
Believe it or not, but this was what happened on the eighth day of CNY.
My parents intended to drive me to Sibu Airport this morning. My flight was at 7A.M., heading for Kuching, then transited to KL. It was a fine journey along the way from Sarikei to Sibu. Thing went exactly the contrary when we were approaching Sing Kwong supermarket. The road was flooded. My dad thought the water level was fine to 'swim through.'
Unfortunately, the water level was so deep that our car was caught in the flood. The car engine was wet and my dad had failed to on the engine. We were caught in the water. The water was filling in the car and the seats were all wet. We had to take off our shoes and pull up our tracks and jeans to go out from the car. The car was literally floating on the water. I was so worried that the car would float away as when the pick-ups such as Hilux 'swimmed' besides our car, the car was really floating like a boat.
I was really panic and my mind was blank. Suddenly. God reminded me of Walter, who was on the same flight with me. After browsing through my phonebook, I lost his home telephone number as my phone was stolen last time. Then, I called Jimmy to ask for the number. Fortunately, he had it. After thinking twice, Walter was not using a Hilux. I was afraid that he would get trapped in the flood as well. So, I dropped the option.
We had no other options but to call those who has a Hilux or a pick-up. The first person that came across my mind was my brother-in-law. I called my sister. There was nobody answering the phone. Okay... Second trial... Third trial... Finally, my sister picked up the phone. Thank God.
I told her our location. She said that my brother-in-law would be rescuing us. She could not come along because my nieces needed companion.
As we were waiting, there were many people stopping by, wondering whether they could 'swim' through. There was one fellow, who was going to the airport as well, kindly asked me whether I wanted to go with him. Thank you for your kindness, Mr Unknown. Guess what! I refused to follow him. What was in my mind was that I was worried about my parents. I could not just let them caught in the flood.
After I told my parents the good intention of the driver just now, I was having a good scold from my parents. They said I would have followed them to the airport because it was 5 something in the morning already and my brother-in-law was still searching his way to rescue us.
Finally, the hero (my brother-in-law) arrived. Immediately, he sent me to the airport. He bought me breakfast as well. It was so thoughtful of him. I really appreciate that.
After I reached KL, I was still very worried about my parents. I phoned them several times. Thank God that they informed the tucking company and the car was tucked to the workshop and got repaired. My dad spent RM200 for that.
I feel so guilty because it happened because they were sending me to the airport. I feel guilty because they were shocked and stunned by the incident. However, my youngest aunt told me that not to feel so because it was not my fault at all. That really helped. Who knows the flood was so serious that it made all the Vivas, Myvis and Kancils into boats?!!
I wanna thank the following people for their help in today's incident:
- My parents (for the good and kind intention to send me to the airport and taking the risk to swim through the dangerous water)
- My sister and my brother-in-law (for sending me to the airport)
- My aunts (for consoling and comforting me after the incident)
- Walter and his family (for attempting to rescue me from the flood)
- Jimmy (for willing to accept my call at 5A.M..)
- Last but equally important, thank God for keeping me calm and making me arrived KL and UKM safe and sound. You are al-mighty.)
My parents intended to drive me to Sibu Airport this morning. My flight was at 7A.M., heading for Kuching, then transited to KL. It was a fine journey along the way from Sarikei to Sibu. Thing went exactly the contrary when we were approaching Sing Kwong supermarket. The road was flooded. My dad thought the water level was fine to 'swim through.'
Unfortunately, the water level was so deep that our car was caught in the flood. The car engine was wet and my dad had failed to on the engine. We were caught in the water. The water was filling in the car and the seats were all wet. We had to take off our shoes and pull up our tracks and jeans to go out from the car. The car was literally floating on the water. I was so worried that the car would float away as when the pick-ups such as Hilux 'swimmed' besides our car, the car was really floating like a boat.
I was really panic and my mind was blank. Suddenly. God reminded me of Walter, who was on the same flight with me. After browsing through my phonebook, I lost his home telephone number as my phone was stolen last time. Then, I called Jimmy to ask for the number. Fortunately, he had it. After thinking twice, Walter was not using a Hilux. I was afraid that he would get trapped in the flood as well. So, I dropped the option.
We had no other options but to call those who has a Hilux or a pick-up. The first person that came across my mind was my brother-in-law. I called my sister. There was nobody answering the phone. Okay... Second trial... Third trial... Finally, my sister picked up the phone. Thank God.
I told her our location. She said that my brother-in-law would be rescuing us. She could not come along because my nieces needed companion.
As we were waiting, there were many people stopping by, wondering whether they could 'swim' through. There was one fellow, who was going to the airport as well, kindly asked me whether I wanted to go with him. Thank you for your kindness, Mr Unknown. Guess what! I refused to follow him. What was in my mind was that I was worried about my parents. I could not just let them caught in the flood.
After I told my parents the good intention of the driver just now, I was having a good scold from my parents. They said I would have followed them to the airport because it was 5 something in the morning already and my brother-in-law was still searching his way to rescue us.
Finally, the hero (my brother-in-law) arrived. Immediately, he sent me to the airport. He bought me breakfast as well. It was so thoughtful of him. I really appreciate that.
After I reached KL, I was still very worried about my parents. I phoned them several times. Thank God that they informed the tucking company and the car was tucked to the workshop and got repaired. My dad spent RM200 for that.
I feel so guilty because it happened because they were sending me to the airport. I feel guilty because they were shocked and stunned by the incident. However, my youngest aunt told me that not to feel so because it was not my fault at all. That really helped. Who knows the flood was so serious that it made all the Vivas, Myvis and Kancils into boats?!!
I wanna thank the following people for their help in today's incident:
- My parents (for the good and kind intention to send me to the airport and taking the risk to swim through the dangerous water)
- My sister and my brother-in-law (for sending me to the airport)
- My aunts (for consoling and comforting me after the incident)
- Walter and his family (for attempting to rescue me from the flood)
- Jimmy (for willing to accept my call at 5A.M..)
- Last but equally important, thank God for keeping me calm and making me arrived KL and UKM safe and sound. You are al-mighty.)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Being optimistic = peace!!!
I have been thinking of why there are conflicts and quarrels in this world. Finally, I have come to a considerably reasonable and sensible answer.
The first point that come across my mind is the diverse way of thinking that every human being has. Human beings think really differently. Just by looking at a picture, for instance, human being could have different, and I really mean different, judgments, interpretation and opinions. As the saying goes, 'one's meat is another's poison,' one's interpretation on a subject is really unique and diverse. This diversity, if not handled well, would certainly lead to conflict.
Let's illustrate this with another example. Our mothers always have the good intentions when they warn or ask or advise us to be more careful in certain things. Their intentions are indeed pure and kind. However, often, the receivers of the message would find those advises irritating and drowning. They are just being caring and concern yet the receivers might find it pushy and urging. This would ultimately lead to conflict and spoil a intimate and loving relationship.
How can we overcome such horrible situation? Well, we have to be very positive in viewing things. Well, some critics might find it overly optimistic. However, this is the only way to keep everything fine. It is advisable to take the good intention of the others into account all the time. We should turn anything negative into positive to guarantee ourselves a balanced and harmonious life, at the same time, keep a healthy, close and intimate relationship with the others. Via this method, we shall have a wider range of social circle and it's easier to keep everything in order.
Hopefully, I myself will anchor myself to this way of thinking and attitude, or if I had started it, maintain to this principle and get better in this.
The first point that come across my mind is the diverse way of thinking that every human being has. Human beings think really differently. Just by looking at a picture, for instance, human being could have different, and I really mean different, judgments, interpretation and opinions. As the saying goes, 'one's meat is another's poison,' one's interpretation on a subject is really unique and diverse. This diversity, if not handled well, would certainly lead to conflict.
Let's illustrate this with another example. Our mothers always have the good intentions when they warn or ask or advise us to be more careful in certain things. Their intentions are indeed pure and kind. However, often, the receivers of the message would find those advises irritating and drowning. They are just being caring and concern yet the receivers might find it pushy and urging. This would ultimately lead to conflict and spoil a intimate and loving relationship.
How can we overcome such horrible situation? Well, we have to be very positive in viewing things. Well, some critics might find it overly optimistic. However, this is the only way to keep everything fine. It is advisable to take the good intention of the others into account all the time. We should turn anything negative into positive to guarantee ourselves a balanced and harmonious life, at the same time, keep a healthy, close and intimate relationship with the others. Via this method, we shall have a wider range of social circle and it's easier to keep everything in order.
Hopefully, I myself will anchor myself to this way of thinking and attitude, or if I had started it, maintain to this principle and get better in this.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Loved, Love
I loved this thing,
I was willing to sacrifice anything
to make sure that I got a piece of that thing.
I didn't know the passion for that thing lost
so fast that my heart froze
and not willing to love.
I love this another thing,
I am willing to sacrifice anything
to make sure that I get a piece of that thing.
I hope the passion for that thing lasts
as long as my lust
and willing to continue loving.
I was willing to sacrifice anything
to make sure that I got a piece of that thing.
I didn't know the passion for that thing lost
so fast that my heart froze
and not willing to love.
I love this another thing,
I am willing to sacrifice anything
to make sure that I get a piece of that thing.
I hope the passion for that thing lasts
as long as my lust
and willing to continue loving.
Is it worth the price??
At times, we would reflect back whether that something we have done is worthwhile. And, unfortunately, you would find that there are certain things and decisions that you made are indeed stupid and childish and not worthwhile at all. The thing is, how do we know that we have made a wrong move? We are able to do so because we have gone through certain things, and we are growing more mature.
Up to this stage, we might think that we are well-equipped with experience and knowledge to survive in this realistic world. However, there will be questions of whether we should grieve over the dark and sad experience that we have had before. If we deleted such experience, of course, we would feel much better and happier. But, deleting memory is not an easy task. There will be also people arguing over the importance of those experience as the foundation of who we are today. People might be caught in limbo at this stage. Certain things are just too difficult to be set. It is difficult to persuade oneself to stand still at one principle (which Morrie, a favorite lecturer of Mitch Albom in Tuesdays with Morrie, refers to as tension of the opposite.)
Therefore, the essence of a happy life should be the following:
- whatever the principle that one holds in his life, one should prioritize his happiness, as well as the well being of the others;
- grieving over one's past is useless (besides the lessons and experience given from the past events);
- there is no fixed way or theory to live happily. We must always be flexible and willing to change in order to suit our ever-changing life.
Up to this stage, we might think that we are well-equipped with experience and knowledge to survive in this realistic world. However, there will be questions of whether we should grieve over the dark and sad experience that we have had before. If we deleted such experience, of course, we would feel much better and happier. But, deleting memory is not an easy task. There will be also people arguing over the importance of those experience as the foundation of who we are today. People might be caught in limbo at this stage. Certain things are just too difficult to be set. It is difficult to persuade oneself to stand still at one principle (which Morrie, a favorite lecturer of Mitch Albom in Tuesdays with Morrie, refers to as tension of the opposite.)
Therefore, the essence of a happy life should be the following:
- whatever the principle that one holds in his life, one should prioritize his happiness, as well as the well being of the others;
- grieving over one's past is useless (besides the lessons and experience given from the past events);
- there is no fixed way or theory to live happily. We must always be flexible and willing to change in order to suit our ever-changing life.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Tuesdays with Morrie -Part 2-
"Whenever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?' - Is life all about the material aspects and external happiness? Are you sure that those things would give you ultimate happiness and satisfaction? This is something that we, including I myself, need to ponder about all the times.
"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness." - Money is important in our lives, but, it is just a tool, something that we use to exchange things with the others. It is not the most important aspect. The most obvious piece of evidence, moderate family could possibly lives happier than the rich ones.
There are many interesting quotes in Tuesdays with Morrie. Get the benefits by reading the book, and you would get a new perspective in viewing things and life.
-End-
"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness." - Money is important in our lives, but, it is just a tool, something that we use to exchange things with the others. It is not the most important aspect. The most obvious piece of evidence, moderate family could possibly lives happier than the rich ones.
There are many interesting quotes in Tuesdays with Morrie. Get the benefits by reading the book, and you would get a new perspective in viewing things and life.
-End-
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Interesting quotes in Tuesdays with Morrie -Part I-
I had read through half of the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. It is an interesting book. I find the following quotes are indeed captivating.
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when the are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."- which i think is very true. If we are chasing the wrong things in life, we will end up having nothing in our lives after tonnes of effort had been poured out.
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture does not work, do not buy it."-this is another strong point here. We always tend to follow whatever that the majority is doing, without rationalize the objective behind. We have to be brave to say "NO" to things that we are against with but not following those wrong concepts blindly.
To be continued...
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when the are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."- which i think is very true. If we are chasing the wrong things in life, we will end up having nothing in our lives after tonnes of effort had been poured out.
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture does not work, do not buy it."-this is another strong point here. We always tend to follow whatever that the majority is doing, without rationalize the objective behind. We have to be brave to say "NO" to things that we are against with but not following those wrong concepts blindly.
To be continued...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
New Year
Everybody wants a new good start and prosperous new beginning in this brand new year. The same goes to me. Though my zodiac, which is ox, forecasts that it would be a less fortune year compared to the previous year for me, I believe that I can live my life well and even better than the previous years.
I believe that it depends on how the way we want our life to be, rather than believing in what the zodiac says. We should not be influenced by the negative assumptions made. If we are influenced, the possibility of the forecast becomes truth is indeed high.
Finally, I wish everybody happy new year and have a fantastic new year. =)
I believe that it depends on how the way we want our life to be, rather than believing in what the zodiac says. We should not be influenced by the negative assumptions made. If we are influenced, the possibility of the forecast becomes truth is indeed high.
Finally, I wish everybody happy new year and have a fantastic new year. =)
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