Life-death

Warning: This entry might be (or, is) very pessimistic. Leave it if it does not benefit you.

Thinking about life, what is the ultimate goal of our lives? Ultimately, we all will die, and leave all the things that we are having NOW behind. I still remember what my late 2nd uncle told me last time. He was a pagan. He told me that when a person dies, that is it. It's just like a chicken being slaughtered (this was so funny for me last time). That the person will just sleep forever.

If it was really so, so what if I had or had not experienced anything? So what if I had or had not owned anything? So what if I led a wealthy life or a poor life? Ultimately, we will all return to God (according to my belief).

Anyway, life is short. We are given this period of time to experience His creation. So, just leave worries and troubles behind and live our life to the fullest. Enjoy the everyday that given to us.

Reflection of the day

1. My grandmother came out with a foochow dialect poem. The poem highlights the virtue of thriftiness, which I need to really understand and appreciate.
2. As a lady herself, she should not have behold and support gender discrimination. Daughters are always seen as the weaker ones. This is seriously not applicable anymore in the society nowadays.
3. Do we need lots of money to lead a happy life? Definitely, the answer is no. Perhaps, this way of perception is often regarded as a way of escapism for the middle income family. However, this can be a reasonable fact! Money can also bring lots of trouble.

Till then, let's meet in the next entry.

Experience

Experience is really the greatest teacher. From experience we start to realize, to learn and to appreciate.
To illustrate, after experiencing many different lifestyles, from the mundane one to the rock-and-roll one, a middle path between the two is figured out. There is always a shared zone between the two, which, I regard as the best path. The combination of the essence of the two makes another more unique and more complete choice. Well, life does not have to be too rigid. We can always come out with the mode of life that suits us the best.
Enjoy our lives to the best.

on the verge......

Hi there. Have you all ever encountered this situation before?
When we are on the verge of completing something, out of a sudden, there is an unexpected and disturbing element that sabotages the whole thing? This makes us really tired and helpless. Some say this is a challenge that put forward to make us stronger. Optimistically, it is. Otherwise, it's demotivating and frustrating!~

vanity

Things are difficult when it is at the initial stage. We have to adapt, and to think of what is waiting ahead for us to experience and to explore. Then, we have to think of how to excel, how to make us more outstanding than the others. Whether we want to pursue another level of education is another concern.

We work during working days, and we are off during holidays. When we are working, we are waiting for holidays. When we are on holidays, we are hoping that the holidays will not end too soon, which is rather impossible. On and off, and on and off. Time flies. What do we get ultimately? What is the final destination of ours?

Is this what people call 'Life is vain'?

Feelings

Happiness comes and goes anytime;
Sadness comes without notification;
Depression attacks when spiritual insecurity penetrates;
Sadness shortens the duration of happiness;
Depression breaks the optimism;
Though negative feelings make the positive ones more outstanding,
can we just take the latter ones?
The former ones are making people miserable.

This moment...

At this very moment, I just can't wait to get out of here and have a great time out there. I wanna meet my family members at home, my friends during convo and have a long walk at shopping malls.
2 weeks had passed, and I have not yet settled down mentally completely. When will this moment come? Another 2 weeks? 3 weeks? I don't know.

A litttle update from Daro

Oh gosh! This is really tough. I thought I am ready for this. I thought I am sociable enough to make new friends, new companion. I knew that making new friends will help me to adapt to this entirely new, in terms of people, physical environment and food, aspects of live.

But, after all, I am not ready.

My grumble for YOU

Well, it's just a game,
between us.
You do not have to be so committed.
After all, your actions do not show
your commitment.
So, do not insult certain big words
such as LOVE, SACRIFICE, SINCERITY
and so forth, because
those words do not even have
a slightest connection to what you are doing.
You are playing with words.
You are a hypocrite!

Manusia

Manusia,
Kaulah makhluk yang paling pintar,
Kau mampu mencipta pelbagai alat,
Untuk memudahkan kerja harian,
dan juga memusnhkan keunikan alam semulajadi ini.

Manusia,
Kaulah makhluk yang paling kejam,
Kau menyiat kulit haiwan,
Kau membunuh haiwan yang berhak hidup di alam ini,
hanya untuk kepentingan sendiri.

Manusia,
Nilai-nilai murni semakin luntur dalam dirimu,
Sikap mementingkan diri semakin jelas kelihatan pada dirimu,
demi membina bangunan pencakar langit,
demi membentuk imej yang membanggakan,
Kau sanggup memusnahkan fauna,
Kau sanggup memusnahkan pemberianNya yang tidak ternilai.

Manusia,
Kau diamanahkan untuk menjaga alam ini,
Kau hanya berhak menghayatinya
Tetapi tidak berhak untuk memusnahkannya.

(Wong Siew Bin, 2001)

Like moon like stars

Certain wishes are just like the moon and stars.
They are not reached easily.

Is being emotional good?

Personally, I would answer yes to the question (though the better answer would be 'NO').
Well, why do I say so?
Let's take watching a drama series as example.
Would you rather cry or laugh when the scene gives you such feelings, OR sitting there emotionless like a doll when watching a drama series? Of course, the former would give you more joy and impact and thrill of watching a drama series.
Then, being emotional is good when you express your feelings to the people around you (though most people would not like this), which is healthier psychologically. And, when you are sad, you would feel much better if you cried, rather than you keep your sadness inside.
And, how does it feel when you cannot laugh when there is somebody tickling you?
Well, this is just an analogy.
~peace =))~

A story of a grandma

I have a story to tell.
Grandson: Grandma! It's raining! (shouting)
There is no response.
Grandson: Grandma! It's raining! (shouting by raising his voice)
Still, there is no response.
Grandson: Grandma!! It's raining!! (shouting, until the whole neighbourhood can hear, and the grandson suffers from sore throat after that.)
The grandmother walks slowly out of her house, looking at the sky and grumbles, and to the extent of scolding.
Grandma: How come you (as in the grandson) did not even make a noise that it's raining? All of my nearly dried bedsheets went wet!
Sadly, the grandson goes into the house silently.

Distractions

Very often, we lost in our ways.
The focus seems blur, because of distractions.
We do not know which way exactly to take.

Rainbow

When I was a kid, often, I would like to be a grown-up.
When I am a grown-up now, I still want to be a grown-up, because I want freedom.
However, I miss the innocent and carefree lifestyle that I used to have.
I do not like the hectic and busy lifestyle that basically every adult is having.
But, once we are adults, mostly, we would be having this kind of lifestyle.
There are just so many things that adults need to handle.
So, get ready! The rainbow wouldn't be as colourful as the childhood one.
But, we can paint it as colourful as we want!

Black and White

Dilemmas

Loneliness

When you feel depressed,
you wouldn't want to talk,
You feel the pain all alone,
until the pain is gone.
What you see would be colourless and dull.

Having a conscious mind is crucial in learning

Have you ever experienced learning in fatigue? How do you find it when you learn in fatigue? Of course, learning process would be less effective and less interesting.

When you are tired, you would have to struggle to focus on whatever is delivered. You would most probably fall asleep or doze off in the process of learning. When this happens, you would feel disconnected or go astray from the track. And, ultimately, you would lose your enthusiasm and interest in the particular subject.

What to do when you are experiencing this? I personally think that it would be helpful if you go and wash your face in the washroom by using cool water. Then, it's good to have some sweets to wake yourself up. Also, I would sometimes have a little low-volume chat with my friends who are sitting next to me. However, some teachers or the ones that are delivering the lesson would find it offensive of chatting in front of them. Therefore, it is essential to hide your chat from the teachers concerned, as a means of respecting them.

So, what are your way of regaining your consciousness? Let's share.

Contradiction

Have you ever felt like you want something so badly, or you have been wanting to go to certain places so much, but, when the time has come, and you are given the opportunity to get what you have been dreaming of, you feel like you do not really want it as severely? I am experiencing it now.

As I have mentioned in my previous entry, when we have rooted in the comfort zone, we might feel reluctant to move even an inch out of the comfort zone. The world outside might be tantalizing and seductive, but, ultimately, it can't give us what our comfort zone offers. In addition, moving to a new place means the need to adapt. Adapting needs a great effort and time. And if we couldn't adapt to the change, negative emotions will conquer us.

However, of course there are good points of staying elsewhere. We get new experience which is essential to our future. We get to see and meet people of different types, and polish up our soft skills when we actually interact with strangers, and slowly become acquaintance, and ultimately, friends.

Well, that's life after-all.

Living in this world...

Living in this world means dealing and facing all kinds of challenges and adversities. How can we, as human being who are fragile yet resilient, survive? This really depends on our ability to ADAPT!

Let's figure this out. Let's categorize things out. We have the outside elements those are influencing us, as well as we ourselves who are being influenced. Among these two elements, which do you think we can take control of? Of course, it's our own entity who are being influenced. Rarely, we can control the outside elements those are influencing us, because it's something done by somebody else, or it's something that happens naturally. Hence, mostly, we can ADJUST our mindset to ACCEPT what is happening around us.

However, do you think we can control ourselves all the times? Certainly not! When the outside elements hit your soft spot, I think anybody will feel hurt and devastated, regardless the gender or position. Well, what should we do to overcome this? Again, this involves our MATURITY in handling things. And, EXPERIENCE helps in this matter. Once we have the knowledge to handle things, we might most probably able to handle things well. In short, we need to be FLEXIBLE in order to live well.

Finally, if we can be resilient in dealing with challenges and be fragile in facing happiness, we can live well.

Settling down

At his point of time, i really wish that I am independent enough to live on my own. I do not want to depend on my family anymore. I just can't wait to settle down.

home

When you have comfortably settled down at a place, especially your home, you would not like to take a leave to anywhere! Even if you are invited to go somewhere, you would feel reluctant. Yes! You might feel tempted when you browse through the exciting and breath-taking scenes promoted either by your friends or on the net. But, at the end of the day, you would feel it's the best to stay at home, the zone of comfort, enjoying all the freedom and security and delicacies without having to spend a large sum of money.

However, you can achieve this ultimate comfort when there is no negative element at home. For example, you would not like to stay at home when your siblings are always quarreling over matters, and your dogs always bark at the backyard. In short, when the peacefulness of your home is threatened, it's very unlikely that you can live comfortably at home.

'Magic' versus shit

I really hate those who like to manipulate people's superstitious way of thinking! They earn money on 'soul-calling' and 'soul-calming!! To hell with that!! Yes, I would respect you if you don't involve my family members. I don't care if you cheat the others money but no my family!! These people, go and F*&%$ yourselves!!

If we have something that we would like to share with, do share with our rational and mature friends to rationalize things out, but not to look for those who practise whatever 'magic' that they claim!!

Reminiscing the Past Part 3: Eating Kajang famous Satay

Looking around for delicacies and great eating outlets has been my favourite leisure time activity. Kajang's Haji Samuri satay has caught my attention and casts its magic on me. I have always been there for satay with my friends. As the people say, 'good food, good companion,' it's good to enjoy delicious food with friends. It doubles the joy.

It's a bonus that the location of Haji Samuri is just nearby UKM. It's just a few minutes ride. Furthermore, I had my own transportation at that time. Therefore, going there was not a problem.

Moreover, the price of the satay is affordable too. If I am not mistaken, it is sold at 60 cent each. Hence, I would say it's worth eating, due to the delicious and juicy and fleshy texture and taste.

Here are some pictures taken during last year's class gathering.

Reminiscing the Past Part 2: Swimming

I went swimming at Danau yesterday. This is significant to me because it's one of the physical exercise that I did here. This activity is the sequel to 'swimming classes' that I had in Kuching. My coach is Dylan Lau. He thought me how to swim from the very beginning. I learned this with Jimmy Ting. Therefore, I would say that this is an activity that joint three of us together and made us flock together.

I like swimming because I like to play with water. When I look at the surface of water at the pool, it will calm my mind down and make me reflect on whatever that bothers me. Also, when I am facing the crystal clear blue sky, it makes me feel so small and tiny. At this very moment, I feel like anything happening on me is a small part and parcel i my life. There are lots more people who are experiencing the worse things. Therefore, I would easily find solutions and comforts to cure my inner wound.

I do think that I will continue swimming, if I had the chance, for its numerous benefits.

Reminiscing the past PART 1: De Palma Cafe and McDonald's

Last night, I went to have dinner with my buddy, Walter Umpang Moses at De Palma Cafe, Bangi branch. We had our meal for twice, I think, at that food outlet.

It is significant because this eating avenue was found interesting, both positively and negatively. It offers buffet at the price of RM20++. Seemingly, the buffet was tantalizing. However, the taste and the choice of food were disappointing. This is what I mean by negatively interesting.

However, the ala carte menus there are mouth-watering. The price is affordable, but not compared to mamak stall. We had Nasi Goreng, Club House (sandwiches), hot coffee and cucumber juice. It was a great dining experience.

After that, we revised at McDonald's at PKNS Bangi. This is another significant part of my life here because I prefer to revise at noisy places such as McDonald's. Therefore, when examination season is approaching, I would go to this place to do my revision. Walter and Jimmy had been my study buddy at McDonald's. Thanks for being great study buddies, dudes. =)

So, this is the first part of this section. Till then, stay tuned for the next part, hopefully, with some pictures and illustrations.

Reminiscing the past: Prelude

I am going to share whatever significant that I will do within this week to reminisce what I had always been doing when I was in the university in this "Reminiscing the Past" section. So, stay tuned.

Channel

We undergo different emotions and get various reflections everyday as we face unique encounters daily. Typically, we get feelings and insights after facing all these incidents. It is important to share and to channel our emotions, reflections and feelings. This is to release our thoughts and opinions so that we would not go insane once the unvoiced is piling up. Also, the publishing will make our friends to experience and contribute to either comfort us or just to enrich and widen their sight.

I always channel my thoughts through Facebook status update. People get to comment and share what they have in mind with me. This really works. After reading their comments, I will feel much better (if I need comfort) and even much happier (if what I share is something happy). I feel owned and I know that there are many friends out there who are always there for me giving me support and care.

Also, I channel my thoughts through blogging. However, this method is less preferred because I like to post something lengthy on my blog. Therefore, it needs time and mental strength to produce a lengthy one and an entry that really describes my message. Though this means is less preferred, blogging comes into handy when I want to share something personal. This is primarily because I personally think that compared to Facebook, blogging gives me a more private space to share my personal matters. Only those few will be reading my entries. This makes me feel comfortable to share my personal matters in my blog.

In short, it does not matter how you channel you feelings. As long as it does not harm the others and cause inconvenience, it is a good way. And, do let go whatever feelings that you are experiencing. It is unhealthy to keep and pile them up.

Words for my little brother

Please bear in mind that we are living in a realistic world. Every step of ours is observed and noticed. When YOU did not do something to earn your living at certain expected age, YOU would not get away so easily. People will be barking at YOU. YOU will not get any respect from the others as YOU are perceived as eating away the properties. People do this for reasons. Every bite of food requires a penny. Put aside your expensive luxuries, still, YOU need some money to survive. Hence, please find something to do, other than sitting at home, waiting to be fed, and depending on the family to survive.

Also, though YOU are the youngest, YOU have your responsibility in this place of sanctuary. It is extremely fine if YOU do not have interest in pursuing your study. However, YOU need to do something to make sure that YOU do not have to starve when YOU are LEFT alone. How much can your siblings help YOU? Each of every one of us has our own responsibility and living. Even if YOU have the gut and courage to ASK, we would have the sufficient amount to GIVE. YOU know very well that we are not from better off family. We have to stand on our own feet.

Looking at the current YOU reminded me to my condition last time. I still remember when I went away to pursue my study. I was in a total lost too at that time. It was my first time leaving the haven. I had to do all the chores and lived all by myself. I thought of gave up and just went back to my place of no others. However, I had gone through the transition successfully. I must thank those who helped me to adapt myself to the new environment (my sister, my former teachers and my family). Otherwise, I thought I would end up like YOU.

Having this experience makes me have the condition to lecture YOU. Each of us has different degree of dependency. I know that you, just like me, are a baby boy. Therefore, you would be experiencing difficulties in adapting to new changes. However, I believe that YOU can do it! YOU just need to put in more effort. Be bold, dude! Making friends (like what I have done and I think I have wonderful friends around me that make me feel like do not want to be apart with them forever) will surely help you to go through all this. And, have confidence in you. YOU have the ability to change. YOU DO!!

All the best, my little brother.

Forewords

Forewords are really important! Before people, especially the leaders, giving their command or order to instruct people do work on something, it is important to establish a relax and anxiety-free working environment. This is to make sure that the subordinates can work in a conducive and productive ambiance.
To illustrate this, Mr A states all the expectations in a strict and serious manner before he allows his workers to start their work. It's good to state what you want your workers to accomplish by the end of the day. However, your workers would be working anxiously and fearfully. Sometimes, this anxiety will impede a good result.
On the other hand, Mr B shares what he expects with his friends in a more subtle way. This will instantly boost the subordinates to give him a helping hand to get things done. Always, things can be done better in this way.
So, it's your choice whether you want to be Mr A or Mr B.

Who are we to judge?

What is your yardstick to decide what is good and what is bad? Who are we to decide one is good or bad? Can teachers and lecturers precisely evaluate and decide students' performance? Do teachers have the ultimate right to fail a student? How do you perceive those who always visits clubs and pubs?
Other than the acts that violate the clearly stated rules and regulations, it's really difficult to judge. Even there are clearly stated rules and regulations, there lawyers who will argue the worthiness of the rules and regulations. So, who has the ultimate power to judge? A question to be pondered upon.

A new perspective of CNY

I had my advance Chap Goh Mei dinner today with my friends. This dinner actually marked the end of Chinese New Year. Without realizing it, time flies.
When I was young, I did feel like Chinese New Year was a great time for me. It gave me joy and pure fun. Other than collecting ang pao, the unity of my family brought me to the seventh heaven. Visiting relatives were like bonus for me. I did enjoy visiting relatives as they really like my companion. Enjoying delicious and seasonal food was another fantastic aspect of CNY.
However, as time goes by, and I grow older, CNY gives me another new perspective. It seems less thrilling as it was before. Receiving ang pao is like merely receiving cash or money, though the real meaning behind receiving ang pao is receiving the blessings from the elders. Visiting relatives are seemed boring nowadays. It is a tiring and mundane process instead of a fun one.
How I wish I can get the true meaning of CNY again.